I used to think that building a strong circle meant saying yes to every invitation, showing up to every event, and making sure I was connected to all the "right" people.
You know the ones I'm talking about. The well-connected people. The ones who seemed to know everyone. The ones whose friendship felt like it would open doors or elevate your status somehow.
And for a while, I chased that. I said yes when my gut was saying no. I invested time and energy into relationships that felt... off. Not bad, exactly. Just not quite right.
When Your Gut Knows Before You Do
There was this one friendship that I really wanted to work. On paper, it made total sense. We had mutual friends, similar interests, and she was someone I admired from a distance. I thought, this is exactly the kind of person I should have in my life.
So I pushed. I made plans. I showed up. I tried to force a connection that just wasn't naturally forming.
And the whole time, there was this quiet voice in the back of my head saying, something's not clicking here. But I ignored it. Because I was so focused on who I wanted in my circle that I wasn't paying attention to whether the relationship actually felt good.
It took me longer than I'd like to admit to realize that wanting someone in your life and them actually belonging there are two very different things.
The Cost of Chasing Popularity
Here's what I've learned: when you're focused on being popular or building a circle based on who you think you're supposed to connect with, you end up with a lot of surface-level relationships that don't actually fill your cup.
You end up saying yes to coffee dates that drain you. You end up at events where you feel like you're performing instead of connecting. You end up surrounded by people but still feeling lonely.
And worst of all, you miss out on the people who are actually meant to be in your corner. Because you're too busy chasing the "right" connections to notice the authentic ones forming right in front of you.
Listening to Your Intuition
Your intuition knows. It really does.
It knows when a friendship feels easy and when it feels forced. It knows when someone genuinely sees you and when they're just keeping you around for what you can offer. It knows the difference between a relationship that energizes you and one that leaves you feeling depleted.
The hard part is trusting it. Especially when everything on the surface looks like it should work.
But I'm telling you, some of the best relationships in my life have been the ones I didn't see coming. The ones that formed naturally, without effort or strategy. The ones where I showed up as myself and someone else showed up as themselves, and it just clicked.
Elly and I are a perfect example of that. We didn't set out to build a business together or create a community. We were just two friends who loved champagne, trash TV, and honest conversations about life. And that authenticity became the foundation for everything we're building now with Ladies Who Life.
Building Your Circle Intentionally
So here's what I want you to think about: are you building your circle based on who you think you're supposed to connect with, or based on who actually feels right?
Are you listening to your intuition when it tells you that a relationship isn't serving you, or are you pushing through because it looks good on paper?
Are you leaving room for the unexpected friendships—the ones that don't fit the mold but feel genuine and life-giving?
Building an authentic community isn't about collecting the right people. It's about creating space for the people who see you, support you, and show up for you in real ways. The ones who feel like home, not a performance.
And sometimes, that means letting go of relationships that don't fit, even when you wish they did. It means trusting your gut when something feels off. It means prioritizing depth over popularity.
The Invitation
At Ladies Who Life, we're not here to build a community based on who's "cool" or well-connected. We're here to build a space where women can show up authentically, connect genuinely, and support each other without pretense.
So if you've been feeling like your circle doesn't quite fit, or if you've been ignoring your intuition about certain relationships, I want you to know: you're not alone. And it's okay to make space for something different.
Your people are out there. The ones who get you. The ones who energize you instead of draining you. The ones who feel right, not just on paper, but in your gut.
Trust that. And make room for it.
—Jaclyn